I really messed up big time...
It finally came to surface that it wasn't a big deal at all. My stupidity, though, turned it into a DRAMA, and that's what made things worse. I realize I was too ignorant, too fool. I was overprotective, like she was my own daughter. I made a mistake and turned her away from me.
I understand that she now wants to keep her distance, and I will not blame her. After all, it was my fault and I accept the consequences of my actions.
I can only hope it's not forever, because I still consider her as a friend.
I am not good at making friends. I'm not a communicative person, anyway. So there only are 4 persons in the whole world that are my friends with the whole meaning of this word. Mime, Pike, Mois and Asami.
I don't have many friends, and of course I can't afford losing any of them. That would literally tear me apart.
I remember, kinda, how it is to be torn apart... Only that now it will be even worse. I don't care about girlfriends... but losing a true friend is the worst thing ever. I'd rather lose my good eye, than lose a friend. Why? Because I got two eyes, similar to each other, so I don't really care. But every single one of my best friends is special and most valued to me. Everyone is remarkable, with his/her own unique way. Of course I'm not literally afraid of the dark, but of the darkness that will devour the emptiness I'll feel if the worst happens and I lose a friend...
For now, I will let her keep her distance without bothering her, and decide whether I'm worthy as a friend or not.